Thursday, November 6, 2008

EMOTIONALLY A MESS!

I am really missing my little Siarra this week-my heart feels very sad. Cody is with his dad this week we share him 50/50 (meaning he goes to dads on sunday at 6pm returns to me the following sunday at pm) this was the same when Siarra was still here. So, as you can imagine my weeks without Cody are very lonely-not quite as bad as right after losing Siarra-but still very hard. I went from having a daughter and son-to being alone when Cody is at his dads. Siarra would always come and visit me even when she was at dads house. I miss her just stopping by to say "hi" or go shopping or just visit. Another day I will talk about Todd-Siarra and Cody's dad-it is a very difficult situation-he is bi-polar, but we will save that for another time. I am not quite ready to go back to the day of Siarra's accident-it is very hard along with the 3 years of media coverage/lawyers/insurance companies and disappointments, but someday I will tell Siarra's story start to finish. So, just like you feel frustrations raising you children, one step forward and 3 steps back, I really do understand because we are all mothers, my steps are just a little different. Ok, I have really made a mess out of this post. Maybe it is because the holidays are right around the corner and that is never easy. I really really miss her!!!!

4 comments:

FaerieMama said...

I'm so sorry it's a rough day. I'm thinking of you. I know I'm just a stranger in cyberspace, but I'm sending you light and love, hoping it helps even a bit.

Alyssa's Mom said...

I miss her too!

I miss you!

Love,
Me

Lisa said...

Oh Tammy....I am so sorry...wishing I could give you a great big hug. This one will have to do... {{{{{{Tammy}}}}} then I expect Gerri to give you an extra big hug from me the next time she sees you.

Write as much as you can when you can. Take your time. Then let it all hang out. We're here for you when you're ready.

big Jenn said...

Hi,
How did you find me? Dosen't matter I guess. It's nice to meet you. I miss Annie every single day. Some days I'm almost "normal",most days not, but it's nice to talk to someone who will really get how incredibly painful this grief is every day. From my broken heart to yours. Love, Jen